Decade of Destiny

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Decade of Destiny Sermons

Waking up

Think of how it feels in the morning when you open your eyes for the first time. You open your eyes and the first gleam of dawn is peaking through the blinds or the moon is still smiling on you. But that first step is always the hardest, the first step of getting out of bed. Of actually starting the day before you. I got eye surgery on Wednesday (20 Oct) my eyes are still hurting and opening them in the morning is still one often hardest thing in my day. The first day or so I could see pretty well however over the past day or so they have gotten worse which is what the doctor said would happen. But still is a little scary. That is what I feel like spiritually some times. I am a brand new Christian (if you want to know more about why I say this ask me) and I am opening my eyes to who Jesus is and what it means to have a real relationship with Him. The first steps hurt they are hard, the first couple of days are really nice though you can see clearly and things make sense however then the third day hits and things get blurry again. This is one of the hardest parts because even though I know ideologically and theoretically things will get better it is really hard to believe some times. As a new Christian I am falling in love with Jesus for real for the first time and I am learning that relationships are not as easy as they are made to appear some times. They take a lot of time and energy however my relationship with Jesus is more than worth it and the time spent on this relationship on this love will not be waited or lost.

Jesus says to us that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all our soul, with your entire mind and with all your strength. And the second most important commandment is to love your neighbored as yourself.

But the most important one is to love Him. If my whole focus is to love Him with all that I have of metal power, physical power, and emotional power the love for him will be returned to me and will overflow on those near to my life like my neighbors. Jesus never asks us to give or do anything that we do not have or we cannot do.

I pray
Jesus give me the strength to realize that I have not strength, give me the wisdom to recognize that I have no wisdom because without you a am nothing and I can do thinking. Please fill me with you and teach me every day to love you more and more.

Wow freedom is amazing!

I have tasted freedom and I now have the taste in my mouth and I will never forget it. It like I was a slave all my life and never knew what freedom was or what I was missing so I never knew how much I would be willing to sacrifice to pursue it. But now I have tasted it I am not free yet but I know what I am fighting for.

I have been seeing signs that I am getting closer thought. Last night my best friend told me about some amazing news and normally I would have been happy but jealous but last night as he was telling me this story all I felt was a sense of overwhelming joy and peace. I was truly and deeply happy for him. This is a feeling that I have not felt in a long time because I normally compare myself to others and their success’s and it get arrogant or jealous over it. But last night none of that I was just filled with the joy of Jesus, pure and true for my friend. (Love you man).

In this journey towards freedom and starting to plan crops that will yield a mighty harvest of righteous first I have to clear the field. I have sowed many fields but they are laced with wheat and chaff, I have started to build a foundation but the foundation is laced with concrete and mud and it will not hold. I have to reap that harvest that I have sowed I have to clear the foundations that are not in accordance with God’s building codes (civil joke).

Cutting crops and throwing them out is not fun, breaking up the foundations is not a pleasant task. Pain is the name of the season, forward movement is the direction and freedom is the goal!!!

Have a great day and learn from my suffering. Sow only in your life the seeds of God that lead to righteous. Put the hard work in in the beginning, it is all worth it. Trust me.

Love God, grow closer to him daily!
Never, never, never, never, never settle for second best!!!!!

50th post......motivation

This is my 50th post this is so cool. Now I feel like I am moving forward in the blogging community.

People here at West Point see me as "BIG JOE" with no end of energy and motivation. Who is always excited and motivated. And that Sucks!!! Because it is hard to live life under that kind of pressure. I have stopped trying to pretend to be and have motivation that I do not have. I have gotten a lot better when I am hurting I let people know and I do not hid it as much anymore. But it is still really hard.

For instance yesterday at the football game. My job is "Mic Man" I am down on the field and my job is just me running around trying to motivate and pump up 4000 people who do not want to be there. It is hard especially when we are losing the day is hot and people have lost heart. I am not really a football guy and I do not do it because I like the sport. But I do it because I like to motivate and inspire people to do their best and to never quite so I put my all out there. I push myself to the limit; pull all the stops, empty the reserves and quite literally waist myself. When I finish a game all I want to do is go back to my room and curl up in a little ball and cry. That really is it. I am incapable of doing anything else.

I am still not quite sure why I do it? I do not really like the job and it really sucks and hurts a lot but why do I do it week after week? Again I am not sure.

Maybe it is because it has to do with my attitude. I think that attitude is the most important thing. Because my attitude is the only thing that I and I alone control. I cannot decide to be happy today I cannot decided to be energetic today but I can decide to have a good attitude today and that I what I try and do every day.

William Borden

NO RESERVE
NO RETREAT
NO REGRET

this is a man who inherited a whole lot of money, he took a trip around the world while he was in his teens. During this trip he saw the world and felt called to be a missionary. Because of this decision many people wondered what he was going because a person in his position he could literally go any where he wanted. In response he wrote two words in his bible, “No Reserve.”

He went to Yale and very quickly noticed as the man whose heart was fully surrendered to Christ. He made a huge impact during this time at Yale. A small prayer group he stated by the time he left contained over ¾ of the college students. Upon graduation he turned down some very high paying jobs and in his bible he added two more words, “No Retreat.”

He continued his journey towards the mission field. He felt he had been called to China to be a missionary to the Muslims in China. His journey took him to seminary in New Jersey then to Egypt to learn Arabic. However not even a month after getting to Egypt he contracted spinal meningitis and died. His death was received very hard back in the states. In his bible before he died he had added two more words, “No Regret”

WOW…this man never even made it to the field he has been working towards. If that had been me I think I would have been so discouraged. However he was not discouraged he was secure in the grace and will of God. Because he knew that all he had to do was stay in the center of God’s perfect will and he would be and do exactly what God’ wanted him to.

All men die but few men really live…..

THIS MAN REALLY LIVED!!!!!!

Info for William Borden

THE THIEF

John 10:10
The thief comes ONLY to STEAL and KILL and DESTROY,
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

The thief, Satan comes and when he comes it is only for one purpose…

Kill our lives
Destroy our souls
Steal our hearts

But he does not look like a thief when he comes knocking at the window. He looks good, really good some times. It only we could see past his disguises. Jesus can so that is why we need to let Jesus guard and lead our lives.

If we could see the damage that Satan wants to causes we would never even think about letting him in. I wish that I had known the damage I would sustain by letting the thief in. I know now the damage only through experience and years of working through the repairs.

Our life is such a precious and fragile things we have to take such careful care of it.

In proverbs there is a verse that says guard your heart with all diligence for from it flow the well springs of life.

This is no joke at all!

We use our minds to decide what we are going to do and how but it is our hearts that tell us if what we are going is in accordance with God’s will.

But there is something here that is different. Once the thief tries once he does not leave us alone. He will continue to attack until he gets in or until the day we die and are out of his reach. This perpetual guarding against the thief never stops. Once we have locked a window we have to constantly make sure that it is not coming lose. We cannot assume that it is locked and that we will never be bothered from it again.

There is warning that I have learned the hard way:
Remain vigilant on all fronts. Guard your heart because it is the center of your live. (Jesus lives there let him help you keep 24 hour security.)

Some lessons in life are best not learned through personal experience

Time in a day

You would not think that you could have every hour of the day filled with an hour and 15 minutes worth of stuff to do. But that is what yesterday felt like. It felt like from 0600 to 0030 I had stuff to do. I stopped doing stuff for 30 minutes in the afternoon and took a nap, amazing for me but it felt so good.

You do not realize how amazing time it until you have so little and it is so precious. So why do we waste so much of our time if it is that important? I always wonder at that after I have waited some time. our time on earth is limited so why would we waist even a second.

I hate wasted time. There is little in life I hate more than wasted time. It gets me so angry! But sometimes I get so angry over the 10 minutes I just lost that I will spend 5 minutes being mad over it, which is the wrong answer.

I have found that the only way I can go through the day and not go crazy is that I give all my time over to Jesus and just work and live to the full. If I am studying, be all there. If I am reading be all there. In whatever I am doing be all there and do it with everything I have. This is the only way to maximize my time.

Time is precious, not all the money in the world can buy even a single minute of your life back.

The future…..love

This is a topic that I think about very very often.

Love for God
Love for my wife

I have to confess that sometimes I think about loving my wife more than I think about God. Is that fully wrong? Because God is love and he made us to love. The only way we can truly love someone the way were meant to is to truly love God. Because in loving her in the truest sense of the word I love God. Because I love everything in her that God made and made beautifully and wonderfully.

This is one of the best analogies I have heard.

“A woman’s heart should be so intertwined with God, that a man must become one with God before he can find her heart.”

This is amazing the idea that you need to so close to God’s heart that the other person must become one with God so that they can find your heart. This is so cool it gives me goose bumps.

In wild at heart and Captivating they talk about this. How some men make the woman the adventure instead of inviting her to be part of a greater adventure. This is where relationships end because the focus is not on the right things. God designed each of us with deep desires in our hearts that need to be fulfilled. In these two books they talk about the core desires in men and woman.

A man wants…..
A battle to fight.
An adventure to live.
A beauty to rescue.

A woman wants….
To e romanced.
To play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure.
To unveil a beauty.


I cannot speak for the woman but I can say for myself that these three things spoke to my heart at a level that I did not know that I had! They awakened my heart and brought me back to life. But I can say that I have learned so much from both of these books. I have learned so much about myself and so much about how I am going to love my wife.

When God created man and woman he said “let us create man in our own image.” Then he made man and saw that it was not good for man to be alone so he created woman (I will talk more about this later). But if you look at man and woman we are made in God’s image but different sides of God’s image. Different sides of God’s character. Man has one side of God’s character and woman another side.

Look at Jesus. He was wild and dangerous, he made a wipe and threw the merchants out the temple and called one of the most powerful groups in Israel a brood of vipers. That is the side of his character he put in man. Then he takes the little children on his knee, he comforts the sick and above all he longs for us to love him, he is literally dying for our love. This is female side of his character. This is not to say in any way the women or men have the better side of God’s character. You cannot compare apples to oranges. We are just different but in our hearts we know that we are missing something deep in our hearts and what we are missing is the other half. We are missing the other half of the character that we make up. That is why we are drawn to the other gender so much. We know that we are missing something and we want to be whole.

I love this picture so think that I am half of God’s image and my wife is the other half and together we represent the image of God. In our love for each other, in the way that we care for each other in the way that we respect each other as half of a hole. A half that if vital to the adventure we are on. A half without which the story would fail, without which it is impossible to succeed.

But the point is that I do not have to look for my wife, I do not have to look for the other half of me. God will show her to me. I have to focus on Jesus night and day and be ready for when God says……

“Hey Joe look over there at her....”

Heaven’s treasure….real/not-real

We talk about the treasure of heaven all the time. But why do we so often forget that the treasure is there when things get hard. If the treasure is so good we should be willing to go through any…..ANY pain or suffering or trial to get that prize.

How easily we are distracted from something so powerful.

You can hardly look at the sun for its power. It will blind you if you look for more than a second. However it is 93,000,000 miles away and light travels at 3.0x10^8 meters/second (that is 300,000,000 meters per second). It takes the light over a minute to reach us on earth. Yet we can take our thumb and blot out the sun….just like that. Something so powerful and majestic can be obliterated by something as simple and mundane as your own thumb.

This is what we do to God’s glory and to the treasure of heaven. It is so big and amazingly wonderful but we let our eyes be covered so easily by the small things of life.

-an insult from someone we barely know.
-a bad grade on a test.
-a disappointment
-our own attitude.

We let our eyes be covered by such simple things it is amazing to me.

Over the past 10 plus years I have let things in my life cover my eyes blind me to what God was trying to tell me. I let the cover stay on because it was comfortable it was easy. That word easy. I am so sick of that word. Life is not easy and anyone who says it is easy is either blind or is about to be rudely wakened.

But I did not see the damage it was going to my life. How much I was sacrificing to say in my “safe” isolated world. But when I got so close to rock bottom I could see the dust on the floor (a story for another time) I had to see what was on the other side of the cover…

...and I will tell you something.

THERE IS NO COMPARISON! Now that I have seen what is on the other side of the veil I never want to go back.

The freedom, the love, the peace, the passion, the wholeness I felt when my eyes were opened was so amazing. I have been fighting tooth and nail ever since to never let my eyes be covered again.

I have been blind and now I know very well what the darkness looks like and what it feels like.

I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAR….real or not

As Christians we go about our daily lives, doing this and saying that. But do we think about what is going on out there for REAL. Do we understand the gravity of the situation!!!! I think not.

Do we understand that there are angels and demons circle over our heads fighting for our hearts. This sounds melodramatic, “angels and demons…..huge battles…..beware the coming wrath…..” something like that but that is where we are in the most danger. One of the enemy’s strongest weapons against Christians is indifference. An indifferent Christina is an ineffective Christian. A soldier who will not pick up his sword and fight because he does not believe that he has a sword and that if he had one, there would be no uses in breaking a sweat to use it.

I know that I have never truly thought there was a war. I was told about it, kind of, but I was never TOLD about it. It is so real that now that I know I can feel the attacks ever day. It hurts… it hurts a lot.

We were born into a story a story about a world at war. But do we talk about how we can fight back…not nearly enough I would say.

My best friend and I had a talk last weekend. Well I should say he talked and I cried and talked. It was good. I have come to the realization that I do not trust God enough to let him control my life. I do not trust God enough to give him all my plans and all my dreams and say “here is my future, I trust you will do what is best.” I feel like that is like falling into an abyss only I am letting go.

Here is a secret….

I am scared of the dark! Yes big Joe Lambert is terrified of the dark. I was walking with a friend of mine down this dark road one night and she asked me what was wrong, because I was completely tense and strung out. But I have been looking at this fear and I have discovered some really interesting things about it. I am not afraid of the dark for what the dark it is am scared of what the dark represents. It represents uncertainty, weakness, directionlessness, the unknown, and above all a complete and under lost of control. This is what I am scared of. I am scared out of my mind at the thought of losing control. But that is what I must do. Jesus said any more who gains his life loses it but any more who loses it will gain it. I have to lose my life, I have to let go of my plans, I have to let go of my control so that I can gain the life that I was meant to live.

Why is letting go so hard………why is it so scary…….

The story

What is it about stories that move us so? We watch movies, we read books, and we listen to songs. There is something in us that makes us cry or laugh or want to go out and do something great. It is the story that these mediums tell us about. It is the story that we want to be a part of.

We were born in to a story that is so big and so amazing. But we have a part to play every one of us. A very important part and a vital part, the question is we going to play it or are we going to sit back and watch it are played.

I for one do not want to be left out of the story any more. I have been outside of my story for long enough and I have seen and read enough to know that if I sit out for too long it will be late for me to get back in. God always gives us a second, third,…..um-teenth change but every time we take ourselves out of the story. The perfect story that God intended for us to live we lose a little bit of what God intended for us to have. God says there is all I have to offer. We say I do not want that part or we are not ready for that part because we are unprepared and we miss out on some of the joy that God intended for us to have.

I have watched so much of my story pase me by and I have made my stand and I say NO MORE!

I WILL WATCH NO MORE OF MY LIFE, MY STORY PASS ME BY….I WANT TO PLAY MY PART!!

We are born into a story, not a peaceful story, not a story without danger we were born into a story with a war a war that has been going on from the beginning of time and we are the center of the war. The war is over us. The war is for our hearts.

In the book, Waking the dead and Epic. Both written by John Eldridge he talks about how are in a world and war and we have a part of play in the story that is being told and has been going on for thousands of years (do not start the age of the earth argument with me).

But I have been thinking about it. If I am part of this story and God is setting the stage for me in this play. He has allowed me; he is allowing us to write the script. This is scary. Would any director put an actor on a stage with a scene and say “ok go.” No way, he would not. But God did, he created the stage and said “go, live life, enjoy life. I created you to have fun in this play. To take your part and make it yours.”

If I was God and I had just made something that had the ability to love the way that humans love I would want them all to love me. At least to be grateful for giving them life and thank me. But he put us here on the earth and said we are free to choice to love him or not.

That is what the story is about. It is about God saying I am here and I love you more than anything. I love you enough to put such amazing detail into the smallest of my creations on this earth. But I want you my people to choose to love me.

The story is a romance, but it is also an action story because there is a bad guy and he does not want us to love God. So he fights us tooth and nail to make sure we do not get to play our role in the play.

The days that I feel the weakest are the days where I know I am making the most impact. The days where I know that I cannot do the right things are the days I know that I have to do them because I am playing my role to the full.

This post is really long but I had to get this out there. I feel like I have been thrown into a war story and I did not know my part to play but now I am learning it. I feel like there is so much out there that we as a cast just to not understand and it is killing us.

I know what story I am a part of and I am fighting every day to play my part with all that I have of strength with all of my soul and with every ounce of passion and love and life that I have in my heart.

What story are you living…………………

Summer Search

Every season of life has a name, a purpose, and/or a theme. If I were to name this summer I would call it “Wild at Heart.” This may sound strange for anyone who knows me but that is what this summer was about for me. My intent for the summer was to be WILD, and adventurous to be DANGEROUS. I wanted to experience every facet of life that God was putting in front of me and this is impossible if you are playing it safe.

Now do not get me wrong there is a fine line between safe and SAFE. Like you do not go sky diving without a parachute but you do go sky diving (I did not go sky diving this summer).

But we put so many boundaries on our lives some are good and some are bad because they suffocate who we are, who we were meant to be. So this summer I decided to let it go and to just try new things and to say no to as little as possible.

My summer consisted to three parts:

1. CLDT (Cadet Leaders Development Training) this was an amazing time. Military training is pretty crazy in itself so I did not have to add too much but the way that I acted was I think different. I was more open and more myself. Free to do things and not be afraid of what other thought. It was a great time, shooting, moving and communicating hahaha.


2. AIAD (Academic Individual Advanced Development) to Alaska, I was working with the Corps of Engineers and that was boring but the rest of my time in Alaska was AMAZING!!!!! (That word is actually really weak). When I was up in Alaska I was really able to live wild and dangerous. I meet some amazing people up in Alaska and that was a miracle and a blessing for God that I will never forget. These people were wild in the way they lived. They would be talking one night and then on a whim decide to scale a mountain the next day or canoe a river. While I was up there the wildest thing I did for me at least was Cross Pass. Cross Pass is a mountain pass that is normally an overnight hike, it is 24 miles, I did it in 10 hr 50 min. it was so much fun. Everyone told me I should not go along and that I should take a gun but wanted neither. I wanted to move fast and to be alone. It was probably one of the most beautiful 11 hours of my life. The pass was amazing so green and alive. I did have a couple scares that I thought were bears but I was good.


3. Last I went home and relaxed with the family, we did a family vacation to northern California. The first day we were up there we went to this really isolated beach and there was a rock formation the first part was right there and I could climb it with out to much trouble. The second one was about 20 feet from the shore and had a pretty nasty current flowing around it. Also there was a 30 foot wall between me and where the rock started to level out. I had to wade out to the rock and then climb it. It was amazing. I felt like I was doing what my heart needed. My heart was loving it. (I am in the picture if you look hard)


The purpose of these activities this summer was not to get an adrenalin rush but to feed my heart and let it be what it was meant to be. When God created man he was created outside the garden and brought into it. Man was created in the wild in the outback. We were created in a wild and dangerous place and then put in a safe tame place. This is why men always want to get out doors and do crazy, dirty things. We were designed to do that. (This comes from Wild at Heart; Girls do not feel like I am belittling you in the slightest).

My model for the summer was the Book Wild and Heart (the guy’s version) and now I am reading Captivating (the girl’s version). They are both amazing books and I have learned so much it is not even funny. I will write about them later on.

This summer I went searching for the most elusive treasure. I went hunting for the most dangerous prey. This summer I went on a quest in search of my heart. I am not sure if I have found it yet but what I do not is that the search is sweet and I am not looking alone. Jesus is searching with me and teaching me how to look.

The Story.....The Hunt!!!!!!

“I wonder what type of story we have fallen into?”

Sam says this in Lord of the Rings, he has asked an amazing question. But first he is assuming that he is in a story he is part of a great adventure. This is so important.

Some of my previous blogs are a little dark and written by a person who was really discouraged. But I am seeing that I am part of a great story and I am trying to kill that person. The battle is raging and I am fighting for my heart, for my soul, for the real nature of who I really am. But I am not alone in this battle, I have Jesus at my right hand directing the battle for me and swing and cutting along with me. He is showing me how to fight and where to strike.

I am uncovering a passion and a heart that I did not know that had. I love to read which I have always hated; I am starting to love to spend time with God which I have always seen as something I must do but not as necessary. If you LOVE someone you will do anything to spend time with them. And I am climbing in love with Jesus as fast as I can.
(I never liked the analogy of falling in love. Because it sounded like we did nothing to love that person, but I did not fall in love with Jesus I am “climbing” in love with him. Every day I am reading I am studying and growing in my love, growing closer to him every day in every way. It is absolutely amazing.

The books that I am devouring right now are all of CS. Lewis and John Eldgredge’s books. These men have done so much for me that I almost literally owe my life to the work that Christ has done through them. Until I read their books I had not really understood what I as missing and where I was going wrong.

But now I know that for the past 13 plus years I have been sitting on my heart. I have been safe. I have been without real passion (which is strange for those who know me because they would say I am the most passionate person they know). But I am finding my heart after many heart years of it being lost. This past summer I went in search of my heart and it was a journey I will not soon forget. My life is forever changed because of it.

I do not know much but what I do know is this. Man was created to be wild, dangerous, untamed, unfettered, unrestrained, and alive. Man is all these things because that is the nature of God that we were created to resemble. When God, “let us create man in our own image.” He really did make us in his own image.

I want to be known as, Joe the crazy man who was wild and dangerous a man who could stand for what he believed and was not afraid to stand for what was right.

I want to be the man I was meant to be. The only way I am going to be able to do that is if I fine my heart. It has been missing for a long time and I have found part of it but many areas are still in hiding and need to be hunted. The journey is not safe, it is dangerous and I do not know what I will find but I am going to start it anyways. Like Lewis and Clark started across America, if they had been too afraid to go and step out into the unknown who know what might have happened.

As I take this journey I am going to be real with you. Why I am not yet sure but I am going to be as real as I can. In the hope that my journey will help you in the search for your own heart.

…..farewell, good luck, good hunting……and…….BE DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trust where are you??

Why is it that doing the right thing is so complicated and so d&$% annoying. Sometimes I get so tired of doing the right thing and following all the rules that I just want to give up completely. Then I remember what happens when all the rules are thrown out the window. Simply doing your job every day is one of the hardest things in the universe. The hardest tasks are not the amazing ones; it is the simple task of living your life everyday in obedience to God and in accordance with his will. That is what is hard. And sometimes is gets so tiresome and feels so unless. I just want to give up.

But giving up is not the answer although it is easier, less work, more fun and causes much less pain (in the near future). But it is so hard to see the future and to know that the pain now will pay dividends in the end. It is hard to believe that the hard times now will bring something better and not something worse. Waiting is a B&@#.

I am waiting for something so great and so amazing that it has to be worth it. I am waiting for something so amazing that yet so attainable in other ways. There are so many short cuts to get what I am waiting for it is not funny but it is not TRUE!!!! I want the real thing and the only way I am going to get the real thing is if I wait on God and he gives it to me in the proper time.

But sometimes I want to take this waiting game into my own hands and play my own way. However I should know by know that my hands are not skilled enough and never will be to play the game right. I need someone with an eternal view of the game. Someone who controls everything in existence to move the pieces for me. I hate it……why do I hate it. I should be completely at ease that someone who loves me is playing for me with my best interest in mind. It is so hard to realize this. I want to have faith, I want to understand and believe but it is so hard. I want what I want and I do not want to trust in someone else to give it to me. But I know what if I wait it will be so much sweeter and will last a life time.

Giving over my plans and desire to God is one of the hardest things I have to do. I do not think I have ever been sure that I trust him enough to give him my plans I have always wanted to keep a hand in them to make sure they turned out the right way. My nature of leadership and control is killing me. But why do I know trust God enough to do it for me? I do not know? Maybe I do now know him well enough; maybe I have not let him speak to me.

God I want to trust you enough to give you my plans, I want to love you enough to fall into your arms and want to more, I want to walk by your side everyday for the rest of my life.

Everything

This is a skit we did last year at the plebe retreat and it is so powerful. I will talk about the skit later, I want to get the link on the blog right now.

Everything Skit, Lifehouse

Weekend

So the weekend was amazing. We got our rings and mine is amazing. I really feel like a firstie now.

My family and I spent most of the weekend at the plebe retreat. Which was a great time. I got to share my testimony Friday night and my mom got to share Saturday morning. On Sunday morning I did the life house skit (link) which was so powerful. We did it last year and it was just as powerful.

RING WEEKEND!!!!!

Today we are getting our rings. This is a big day this is the day that Firstie becomes real and you know that this is the year that you will graduate.

We all are so excited. It is going to be a great weekend!!!!

Wild at heart & Captivating

These two books are among the best I have ever read. I am still working through Captivating but so far it is amazing. One of the most important things I have pulled out of it is the duel nature of God. His personality and character are so big he had to make two distinctly different persons, with different physical characterizes and natures. To fully embody who he fully is. That is why weddings are so amazing because we are watching the two half’s of God's personality come together and become one once again.

Each sex has a story to tell about God. When I look at men and women now I think about what are they trying to tell me about God. It is amazing my eyes were opened to so many things and how I look at people is changing.

God is so amazing!!!!!

Wild at Heart

Waiting

You know the feeling you get before Christmas. The feeling of extreme anticipation because you know that on the 25th day of the last month of the year you are going to get to open the presents under the tree. The feeling of excitement and anticipation grows and grows at you get closer but you know when the day is coming and you know how much fun it is going to be.

Imagine waiting for something that is 100 times better than Christmas and not knowing when it is going to happen. You can see it in front of you. You might even get a taste of it but it is not time yet. However you can satisfy this desire by opening the presents early. you get to see what it is and you get to enjoy it for a short time but then you realize that you might have opened someone else’s present and that you cheated and the present you have may not have been intended for you. So you have to wait.

I hate that. I want it to be Christmas so badly and I think I can see it but I have to wait and be patient because if I am being made to wait Jesus had a reason for it. Maybe I am not ready for it. Maybe it is not the right time for it. I do not know the only thing I do know is this.

1. Want it to be Christmas so badly I could die. Every fiber in my want to know what is going to happen, every emotion in my wants to see the outcome.
2. Even though I may think I am seeing what is coming on that day I have to keep my hands open and trust that Jesus had a plan for me. He wants to see my delight on that day even more than I do (if that were possible but it is).


………… (sigh) waiting is not easy………

First day of the last year

Today I am starting my last year at the United States Military Academy at West Point New York. I am sad and excited at the same time. I am sad because I have enjoyed my time here so much I have learned so many lessons about myself and about leadership and I like to be around my friends.

However I cannot wait to step out into the career that is set before me. I did not come to west point to have fun and socialize however I have made friends here that I will have for the rest of my life. But I came to west point to become the officer that I was meant to be, to become the officer that I am capable of being.

I am a table commandant, which means I sit at the head of the table and I am in charge. I have four plebes at my table and as I look at them I see four individuals waiting to be developed and lead down the road to become the officers that they are meant to be. It is so exciting to me.

Lost

Do you feel so lost sometimes you just want to sit down and cry? If you are in the woods you can just sit down and cry on a log or rock if you are in the city when you are lost it is harder to just sit and cry because of all the people walking around. What your soul is lost where and how do you sit down. When you are lost spiritually where do you sit and how do you cry. I want to know because I need to.

You know that feeling when you feel like you are starting to get the hang of a new skill like riding your bike and you are getting comfortable on it...but then you crash and your bike gets all bent up and you get all banged up. Cut and scraped and all sorts of nasty things. Now you have a problem not only does riding not look so easy any more but your bike is all messed up and you have no idea how to get back on it and get back to riding.

The reason you want to get back on the bike is because once you have tasted the freedom of riding, the wind in your face, the ground racing beneath you it is impossible for you to not ride.

SO YOU HAVE TO GET BACK OUT THERE....BUT YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

So here to repair men...

LEADERSHIP

West Point….a name, a school, a military instillation, a hunk of rock on the edge of a river? What is it? Why it is where it is and what is its purpose?

Over my summer a lot about me changed and I started to see the world through much clearer lenses and I came to the realization that the purpose….my purpose is to teach. My purpose is to lead.

The point of West Point is to develop leaders of character. Who are able to go out and make the decision and be the men and woman that this army, this nation, this world needs.

This is a very cliché answer. But that is the point it is THE ANSWER. A leader of character is rare and a highly valued commodity. It is like a prized fighter, there did not just appear out of thin air they had to train. That fighter had to buffet their body into submit ion to become what they wanted it to be. It takes years of training, learning, and self examination. The same is true with true leaders of character.

I am back at West Point and right now I would sacrifice everything thing I have to be a David Penskar for even one person.

David Penskar was part of the class of 2009. He was my squad leader plebe year and I respect him more than any other leader I have ever met. He was professional, he was knowledgeable, most importantly he was an example. In every aspect of his life he was an example of what type of leader he wanted us to be. Now one year after he has graduated and two years after he was my squad leader I still think about my interactions with him. two of my most memorable time with him were one day when drill was canceled for rain and I had run to him room to get out of the rain and he asked me if I wanted to go on a “rain run.” we went out and ran down the rail road tracks, I do not remember how long it was but I do remember that it was one of the best runs I have ever been on ever. I do not remember specifics but I remember that we talked about his philosophy of leadership, my ideas for leadership and we just dialoged about who we were. The other time was at the end of the semester. He was leaving before grad week and wanted to talk to us all before he left. He took us to the Supe’s box once it was dark. We all sat down and he told us to “look at all the lights,” because behind every one of them was someone else who was learning to be leader. We had to continue to improve and learn to be the best leaders we could be. He told us how proud of us he was. That was probably the most memorable moment of my plebe year.

A man who I engaged with upwards of two years about is still making an impact on my. That is a leader. that is the leaders I want to be, someone who is able to inspire people to be their best and to instill in them a deep desire to be the best that we could be, to never never stop reaching for our best.

That is what I want to be for those around me…………….

A summer of change

this summer has been a time of change for me in some many ways.

I want to put into words part of what I experience this summer. and what i learned.

"here to summer 2010!!!!!"

Long time away

Hey so I have been way for a long time school and school and live have pushed blogging very far from my mind. however over the past couple of weeks and months I have had so much going through my mind I have not even been able to journal that much but now I want to get it out I want to put some of this down in words so I can think it through and pray about it.

Update.
- I have finished Cow year and am getting ready to start my last year at West Point it is going to be frickin amazing. I cannot wait to do Firstie year.

- I have a girl friend, her name is Sarah Binder. She also goes to West Point. She is on the Marathon team and her heart is on fire for God.

- I did CLDT and that was a blast I learned so much about myself and leading it was a real learning and growing experience.

- Currently I am in Alaska with the Corp of Engineers. Alaska is amazing.


I just finished the book Wild at Heart and that was an amazing book. That book has changed my life in so many ways it is not even funny. I will be talking about that book and what else I have learned later on.

Always yours,
Joey

The Greatest Question in History

“DO YOU WANT TO GET WELL?” – Jesus

Jesus said these words to a man who had been lame for 38 years at the pool of Bethesda (john 5). I think this is one of the most powerful questions ever. I have never heard this question until now. I have heard all this before; like Jesus knows everything you need and want.

But it was not until right now that I fully understand the significant of this question. Jesus want us to love him, he want us to see him as a friend and love him and ask for help. All he wants is us to say, “I want you to heal me.”

Because once we say that we are also saying that we love him and want true him and we want to be with him.

So with all my heart today I want to say

“I WANT YOU TO HEAL ME JESUS” – Me

With all my heart I want to say that and mean it. I want to love you Jesus. I want to be overflowing with love for you. I want to be so full of love that those who you bring into my life are just overwhelmed by the love that I have for you as it engulfs them.

I have always felt that I knew where God wanted to go with my life. But over the past year I have felt very directionless, but ever since the start of this year I have felt a direction a pull I have not felt for so long. I have felt so close to Jesus, and I can feel it growing. i just want to know him and to be with him, I want to spend time with him. I feel like I am starting to find my direction again. I cannot see where he wants me to go but I can feel the direction he is pulling me and I am not resisting any more. I want to run that way. But I am holding baggage that slows me down in my run towards him. Things from my past, regrets, shame, pain, wasted time, wasted love. I want to run to Jesus but the bags that I am holding are banging against my legs and my back slowing me down but I continue to hold on to them. I do not want to hold onto them anymore. I want to get rid of them. I want to cast them to the side. I want to throw them behind me and run unhindered to the cross, just like Jesus intended me to run to him. I want to ask…

“I WANT YOU TO HEAL ME JESUS, I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
I NEED YOU TO HELP ME GET RID OF THE THINGS I AM HOLDING ON TO
THAT KEEP ME FROM YOU. I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO THROW THEM MYSELF, ONLY YOU CAN HELP ME.”

Learning through pain

Do you ever thing you are just starting to make progress in something and hten you get confident and then that confidence turns every so quietly suttely into arrogance and you go from moving forward to falling backward??

Well I had one of those and it is very humbling but I can tell you that from this experience I am learning so much.

Something I would rather not learn because of the pain but they are things that I need to learn. For instance that I can get very arrogant at time and when I do I turn off all outside resources of help or advice. When this happens I am in Super Joe mode, although I am strong I am nowhere near strong enough to carry my life myself. But I have gotten a better look at this over the past couple days.

Pain and failure are the time when I learn the most. Look at working out it is only when you are in pain that you really grow.

Priorities....where are they

"people who have passion but lack priorities are like individuals who find themselves in a lonely log cabin deep in the woods on a cold snowy night and then light a bunch of small candles and place them all around the room. They don’t create enough light to help them see, nor do they produce enough heat to keep them warm. At best, they merely make the room see a bit more cheerful. On the other hand. People who possess priorities but no passion re like those who stack wood in the fireplace of that same cold cabin but never light the fire. But people who have passion with prorates are like those who stack the wood, light the fire, and enjoy the light and heat that it produces.”
"Go for Gold" by John C. Maxwell.

This book is amazing. Everyday there is something new for me to learn. It is broken up into week long chapters; the idea is that it takes a long time to become a good leader so the book takes a long time to read so that you have time to work on what I am trying to tell you.

I really like this one because sometimes I forget what the most important things are. If I go a day without spending that time alone with God like today I was running around and did not sit down with him (it is now 3 min until it is tomorrow). But I can say that today I lived by my priorities. I put God first today even though I did not meet specifically with him I did every job today to the best of my ability which is my first priority. To serve him is the main thing. While I was living today I stopped to talk to Him throughout the day but it was like we were talking and working at the same time because I did at no time stop and say now is my time to pray (if you are running a rifle range it is hard to stop what you are doing). But I think the main point for me is realizing that everything I do is focused at Jesus. Focused at loving him more and serving him to the best of my ability.

Topic jump.
I have been reading my friends Blog and they said they are feeling like their relationship with God is lacking something. Like they were singing last night and it did not feel real like you were not worthy to be singing the words of the song. Last semester I was at a similar place.
I was at a point where I was so tire of being a Christian I could not pray, I could not read by Bible, I could barely sing (which is big for me). There was a lot of stuff going on in my life that was separating me from Jesus during that time (for another, later post). For a span of about 3 weeks I took a break from being a Christian. I was just to tire and discourage I could not do it. It was not real, my relationship with God, my heart was cold, and my spirit was dry.

I distinctly remember one phone call with my mom, I was about to go to bed and she asked me if I wanted to pray before I went to bed and then she would pray…..I literally sat there for 2 minutes in silence. I could not do it. You know when you pray and you do not feel it. I could not feel it and I did not want to feel it, I had shut myself up so tight, I could not even pray. She just prayed and I went to bed.

Over Christmas break ’09. I got real with God and I started again. I decided since I had taken a break from being a Christian, I was a new Christian so I started again. Even since that day I have been thirsty for Jesus. I have been learning how to love him and others more. I have been learning how to walk with him and love him like I should. Like anyone who is new to something I still have a lot to learn but I am so excited to learn.

For anyone who actually reads this. I want to say if you feel like your relationship with God right now is not real and you do not feel connected to him. I was right there…it will end…like now I cannot even tell you how on fire for God I feel now. I got real with God…. and did not fall in love with God…….I AM GROWING IN LOVE WITH GOD (to fall is an accident; to grow/climb is a choice). Love is a choice and we have to make it every day. I now choice to love God more than any and everything else in my life, I still have a lot of bumps to workout but I cannot wait to iron them out with Jesus.

Well if you got his far you must have either 1) found something interesting which is unlikely or 2) you have to much spare time on your hands (for my friends also unlikely) or 3) you are a more devoted friend that I deserve.

Get out there and live life to the full because Jesus made us to live and love for his glory. So join me living life.

“There is no disgrace in a failure only in a failure to try.” -Teddy Roosevelt

Later

The Pull

Some times I want to give up and throw in the towel completely. I want to stop fighting, I mean I fight so hard to do the right thing and I rarely ever see the benefit. I try and do the right things, I try and watch the right things, I try and say the right things and sometimes I just get tired of it and wonder why.....then I feel "the pull"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

This skit makes me cry. I just watched it and I cried again. When I see Jesus pulling her to him I feel like I can feel Jesus pulling me too. Like all the things in my life are standing in the way and trying to distract me. Lust, money, alcohol, vanity and disregard for life. but then I remember that dance, I remember when Jesus and I used to dance and I want to go back to that and dance with him but I am caught up in the fight to get back to him because of all the things that I have let get between us. I cannot move them he has to step in and free me.

we did this skit for the plebe retreat that I ran at the beginning of last semester and I played Jesus and I can tell you when I was pulling her across the stage to me I felt...like I was really pulling someone I felt like I was in the thing. When I ran in and held back everyone, it was so strange.

Just think about that. Remember why we do what we do. I do, I do what I do because Jesus loves me and I love him and I love do dance with him more than I love to dance with the distractions in my life.

FOCUS ON THE BIG PICTURE

So it is mad late and I am tired but I had to write this. I think this is so important. I was reading this book earlier today "Go for Gold" by John C. Maxwell.

It talks about in the 1968 Olympics how the crowds were watching a marathon and they where waiting for the last runner to come across the finish line. they waited a long time. Eventually as people started to give up and leave they heard sirens in the distance from an ambulance. And a short time after the last runner entered the track to run his last 400 meters.


"It was John Stephen Akhwari from Tanzania. As he ran the 400-meter circuit, people could see that his leg was bandaged and bleeding. He had fallen and injured it during the race, but he hadn’t let it stop him. The people in the stadium rose and applauded until he reached the finish line.

As he hobbled away, he was asked why he had not quit, injured as he was and having no change of winning a medal. “My Country did not send me to Mexico City to start the race,” he answered. “They sent me to finish the race.”

Akhwari looked beyond the pain of the moment and kept his eye on the big picture of why he was there. As you make the success journey, keep in mind that your goal is to finish the race – to do the best you’re capable of doing.”


I think this is so important, we are not called to win or to lose, and we as Christians are called to run the race that God has given to us. To do our best and to bring glory to Jesus. We are not out to be the best or to make a name for ourselves we are out there because Jesus asked us to and we love him that much. The pain we are going through is part of the race we volunteered to run and we should look through it and see the importance of the race we are running. Time for bed…later ;)

strength (love that hurts)

it is at times like this that i relaize what we were saying all those time when we say "i am not strong enough" "my own power is so small"

i feel not see the profe. but that is the beauty of it all. i feel the pain and remeber that i am not alone. most people never get to feel that sence of weakness to this extent (well i hope they don't).

God teaches me so much through pain some times i want to yell at him and say,
"DON'T LOVE ME SO MUCH...IT HURTS A LOT."

Being at peace

Sometimes you do not get to do what you want to do or get as much done as you would like. I am learning to live with this feeling at be at peace with it. Like yesterday I got to hang out with a friend of mine. I went out to lunch with him and his girlfriend and his mom. Which took longer than I wanted but it was good because I got to talk to him about some cool stuff. Last night I had meeting until late but I got to visit another friend and it was good talking to her.

fun things and God is showing me that some times....well most of the time what I need to get done in a day is not always what God wants me to get done in a day.

I think the main thing I have learned as long as I am walking with God I have to be at peace with how he wants me to spend my time.

Back to the grind

So here I am again back at my desk at west point. Back from Spring Break ready to start school again. Many people around me are groaning in agony to be back but I am ready I am excited. To be back here to see what the next couple weeks have in store for me.

God has been showing me a lot of really cool stuff lately and I want to see how it pans out in the days to follow. Excitement about the future is one of the only ways to stay on course. Look at this verse.


Philippians 3: 12-14 (New International Version)

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I think this is so awesome. Just think about that. Straining towards what is ahead. When I think to strain for something I think of a warrior fighting with all that is in him for some cause. To save the women he loves, he is straining with all that is in him. Nothing can stand in his way.

God is calling us towards the goal to win the prize. Keeping our eyes focused on the prize and letting nothing distract me from that path.

Spring Break

So after living though last week. Which was not fun. Balancing school all that was due and my job as Sandhurst Command Sergeant Major (I was looking at it the other day and I am in charge of 90+ people and $200,000 worth of equipment...kind of scary). But I lived thought it and I learned a lot from it.

1. Sleep is amazing, without it I have to watch how I interact with people very carefully because I get on edge when I have little or no sleep.
2. Time management is something that is very important because things that are important get lost and thing that are not important seem to always move to the front.
3. Physically I am capable of much more than I thought I was. When I was tired and going on no sleep one night I was able to max a physical test (a 1500 yard swim) and later the weights portion of the test.
4. During a week where my strength ran out about 36 hours in God gave me more strength than I deserved.
5. When you are tired and so lost that you have no idea where to go and what to do God always steps in when you need him the most. Not so much when you want him to step in but when you need him. He is never late and never early but always right when you need it the most.

So even after a week that was very painful I can say that I learned a lot. That is the point to life, learning from the hard times. If we do not look at the hard time and battles and embrace them and learn from them we are losing so many lessons we are meant to learn. Most of the important lessons I learn at the most painful points in my life. Well I do at least.

But I have to say this week (Spring break) has been amazing so far. I have had time to think about some amazing ideas about my leadership, academics and physical. There are so many things I want to accomplish in so many areas. I am just starting to see the potential and the plans that God has given me and I cannot wait to see where it will take me. WOW what a journey. I cannot wait to get started.

PR time awake 44.5 hours

this is not a record i am proud of.

25 hour awake....blessings....pain

so last night i never went horizontal.

so i have been awake for 25 hours and counting. it is going to hurt really bad today. but i was given a blessing this morning already. i had to swim for a PE class. i had to swim a 1500 yrd and a 100 yrd for time. i got 19:42 min on the 1500 (max points 23 min) and 64 sec on the 100 yrd (max points 68 sec).

so without even asking God has already started to give me blessings.

will keep you posted on how the rest of my time goes.

strength from i know not where

Well this day started at 0545 and it is now 0300 of the next day (21 days)....it is not over yet.

I do not know where the strength is going to come from to live today but I know it will be there when I need it. That is what is wonderful about Jesus he know exactly when we need something and he does not give it to us until that moment. He is never late.

I have been trying to pray all the time, throughout the day. Just whenever I think about it. Today I was driving to pick up some supplies and I was alone and I started talking to God out loud in the tuck like he was sitting next to me. I was not angry I would say but I was separate. I needed some guidance and help. I got some of it I think but I think he still wants me to look hard for the answers.

But back to the praying constantly I have been praying more since the OCF (officer Christian fellowship). Every day it is not because of anything the speaker said it is because some things came up at the retreat that whenever it comes into my mind I just pray for it, NF. I can say that I feel closer to Jesus because of it. Talking to him is something that I want to be all the time not just at specific time or in certain settings.

Well that is all... I need to get back to work I have to go swimming in 2.5 hours. I have to swim 1500 meter in under 23 mins for a class so we will see how that goes.

day after day

Sometime I really have to take a step back and remember that God is in control because I can get lost with everything going on. Like yesterday I was at a range for 6+ hours with tons of home work to do. Problem set due tomorrow (I do not understand) Military Art paper I have not really started due in two days. All that gets so big I forget I have a friend who is some much bigger than me.

But I was reading my friends blog this morning a post from 2 Jan 10. And she talked about walking and talking with God like the people in the Bible, also she noted the verse where it says that God is the same today, tomorrow and forever. If God is the same now and always why do I not talk to him? He is waiting to talk with me but I get so lost in the day to day stuff.

I get so overwhelmed some times with everything I have to do. But I guess it is a good thing to feel helpless because it means I have to pray and walk with God all the closer because I cannot do this by myself. You string a couple 19+ hour work days together and you start to realize just how weak you are and how little you are in control.

So the I guess the lesson to learn from this is that I have a friend walking by my side that I have not been talking to who want to help me. So I want to talk with him more.

Let's try this again

So I lost focus and did not blog for a while. I only wish I could tell you how much as happened since my last post. I have been challenged and tested on every front in some areas I have been victorious in others not so much. But the areas where I am losing are growing smaller and fewer.

Right now I feel such freedom and peace. God is starting to show me some of the plans he has for me, the things in front of my eyes for all those years have been lifted and I can see again and I can tell you I never want to be blind again.

Well here starts hopefully a lot string of posts that I will put up here much shorter than my previous ones.

Yours always,
Joey