This is my 50th post this is so cool. Now I feel like I am moving forward in the blogging community.
People here at West Point see me as "BIG JOE" with no end of energy and motivation. Who is always excited and motivated. And that Sucks!!! Because it is hard to live life under that kind of pressure. I have stopped trying to pretend to be and have motivation that I do not have. I have gotten a lot better when I am hurting I let people know and I do not hid it as much anymore. But it is still really hard.
For instance yesterday at the football game. My job is "Mic Man" I am down on the field and my job is just me running around trying to motivate and pump up 4000 people who do not want to be there. It is hard especially when we are losing the day is hot and people have lost heart. I am not really a football guy and I do not do it because I like the sport. But I do it because I like to motivate and inspire people to do their best and to never quite so I put my all out there. I push myself to the limit; pull all the stops, empty the reserves and quite literally waist myself. When I finish a game all I want to do is go back to my room and curl up in a little ball and cry. That really is it. I am incapable of doing anything else.
I am still not quite sure why I do it? I do not really like the job and it really sucks and hurts a lot but why do I do it week after week? Again I am not sure.
Maybe it is because it has to do with my attitude. I think that attitude is the most important thing. Because my attitude is the only thing that I and I alone control. I cannot decide to be happy today I cannot decided to be energetic today but I can decide to have a good attitude today and that I what I try and do every day.
12 September 2010
10 September 2010
William Borden
NO RESERVE
NO RETREAT
NO REGRET
this is a man who inherited a whole lot of money, he took a trip around the world while he was in his teens. During this trip he saw the world and felt called to be a missionary. Because of this decision many people wondered what he was going because a person in his position he could literally go any where he wanted. In response he wrote two words in his bible, “No Reserve.”
He went to Yale and very quickly noticed as the man whose heart was fully surrendered to Christ. He made a huge impact during this time at Yale. A small prayer group he stated by the time he left contained over ¾ of the college students. Upon graduation he turned down some very high paying jobs and in his bible he added two more words, “No Retreat.”
He continued his journey towards the mission field. He felt he had been called to China to be a missionary to the Muslims in China. His journey took him to seminary in New Jersey then to Egypt to learn Arabic. However not even a month after getting to Egypt he contracted spinal meningitis and died. His death was received very hard back in the states. In his bible before he died he had added two more words, “No Regret”
WOW…this man never even made it to the field he has been working towards. If that had been me I think I would have been so discouraged. However he was not discouraged he was secure in the grace and will of God. Because he knew that all he had to do was stay in the center of God’s perfect will and he would be and do exactly what God’ wanted him to.
All men die but few men really live…..
THIS MAN REALLY LIVED!!!!!!
Info for William Borden
NO RETREAT
NO REGRET
this is a man who inherited a whole lot of money, he took a trip around the world while he was in his teens. During this trip he saw the world and felt called to be a missionary. Because of this decision many people wondered what he was going because a person in his position he could literally go any where he wanted. In response he wrote two words in his bible, “No Reserve.”
He went to Yale and very quickly noticed as the man whose heart was fully surrendered to Christ. He made a huge impact during this time at Yale. A small prayer group he stated by the time he left contained over ¾ of the college students. Upon graduation he turned down some very high paying jobs and in his bible he added two more words, “No Retreat.”
He continued his journey towards the mission field. He felt he had been called to China to be a missionary to the Muslims in China. His journey took him to seminary in New Jersey then to Egypt to learn Arabic. However not even a month after getting to Egypt he contracted spinal meningitis and died. His death was received very hard back in the states. In his bible before he died he had added two more words, “No Regret”
WOW…this man never even made it to the field he has been working towards. If that had been me I think I would have been so discouraged. However he was not discouraged he was secure in the grace and will of God. Because he knew that all he had to do was stay in the center of God’s perfect will and he would be and do exactly what God’ wanted him to.
All men die but few men really live…..
THIS MAN REALLY LIVED!!!!!!
Info for William Borden
09 September 2010
THE THIEF
John 10:10
The thief comes ONLY to STEAL and KILL and DESTROY,
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
The thief, Satan comes and when he comes it is only for one purpose…
Kill our lives
Destroy our souls
Steal our hearts
But he does not look like a thief when he comes knocking at the window. He looks good, really good some times. It only we could see past his disguises. Jesus can so that is why we need to let Jesus guard and lead our lives.
If we could see the damage that Satan wants to causes we would never even think about letting him in. I wish that I had known the damage I would sustain by letting the thief in. I know now the damage only through experience and years of working through the repairs.
Our life is such a precious and fragile things we have to take such careful care of it.
In proverbs there is a verse that says guard your heart with all diligence for from it flow the well springs of life.
This is no joke at all!
We use our minds to decide what we are going to do and how but it is our hearts that tell us if what we are going is in accordance with God’s will.
But there is something here that is different. Once the thief tries once he does not leave us alone. He will continue to attack until he gets in or until the day we die and are out of his reach. This perpetual guarding against the thief never stops. Once we have locked a window we have to constantly make sure that it is not coming lose. We cannot assume that it is locked and that we will never be bothered from it again.
There is warning that I have learned the hard way:
Remain vigilant on all fronts. Guard your heart because it is the center of your live. (Jesus lives there let him help you keep 24 hour security.)
Some lessons in life are best not learned through personal experience
The thief comes ONLY to STEAL and KILL and DESTROY,
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
The thief, Satan comes and when he comes it is only for one purpose…
Kill our lives
Destroy our souls
Steal our hearts
But he does not look like a thief when he comes knocking at the window. He looks good, really good some times. It only we could see past his disguises. Jesus can so that is why we need to let Jesus guard and lead our lives.
If we could see the damage that Satan wants to causes we would never even think about letting him in. I wish that I had known the damage I would sustain by letting the thief in. I know now the damage only through experience and years of working through the repairs.
Our life is such a precious and fragile things we have to take such careful care of it.
In proverbs there is a verse that says guard your heart with all diligence for from it flow the well springs of life.
This is no joke at all!
We use our minds to decide what we are going to do and how but it is our hearts that tell us if what we are going is in accordance with God’s will.
But there is something here that is different. Once the thief tries once he does not leave us alone. He will continue to attack until he gets in or until the day we die and are out of his reach. This perpetual guarding against the thief never stops. Once we have locked a window we have to constantly make sure that it is not coming lose. We cannot assume that it is locked and that we will never be bothered from it again.
There is warning that I have learned the hard way:
Remain vigilant on all fronts. Guard your heart because it is the center of your live. (Jesus lives there let him help you keep 24 hour security.)
Some lessons in life are best not learned through personal experience
08 September 2010
Time in a day
You would not think that you could have every hour of the day filled with an hour and 15 minutes worth of stuff to do. But that is what yesterday felt like. It felt like from 0600 to 0030 I had stuff to do. I stopped doing stuff for 30 minutes in the afternoon and took a nap, amazing for me but it felt so good.
You do not realize how amazing time it until you have so little and it is so precious. So why do we waste so much of our time if it is that important? I always wonder at that after I have waited some time. our time on earth is limited so why would we waist even a second.
I hate wasted time. There is little in life I hate more than wasted time. It gets me so angry! But sometimes I get so angry over the 10 minutes I just lost that I will spend 5 minutes being mad over it, which is the wrong answer.
I have found that the only way I can go through the day and not go crazy is that I give all my time over to Jesus and just work and live to the full. If I am studying, be all there. If I am reading be all there. In whatever I am doing be all there and do it with everything I have. This is the only way to maximize my time.
Time is precious, not all the money in the world can buy even a single minute of your life back.
You do not realize how amazing time it until you have so little and it is so precious. So why do we waste so much of our time if it is that important? I always wonder at that after I have waited some time. our time on earth is limited so why would we waist even a second.
I hate wasted time. There is little in life I hate more than wasted time. It gets me so angry! But sometimes I get so angry over the 10 minutes I just lost that I will spend 5 minutes being mad over it, which is the wrong answer.
I have found that the only way I can go through the day and not go crazy is that I give all my time over to Jesus and just work and live to the full. If I am studying, be all there. If I am reading be all there. In whatever I am doing be all there and do it with everything I have. This is the only way to maximize my time.
Time is precious, not all the money in the world can buy even a single minute of your life back.
07 September 2010
The future…..love
This is a topic that I think about very very often.
Love for God
Love for my wife
I have to confess that sometimes I think about loving my wife more than I think about God. Is that fully wrong? Because God is love and he made us to love. The only way we can truly love someone the way were meant to is to truly love God. Because in loving her in the truest sense of the word I love God. Because I love everything in her that God made and made beautifully and wonderfully.
This is one of the best analogies I have heard.
“A woman’s heart should be so intertwined with God, that a man must become one with God before he can find her heart.”
This is amazing the idea that you need to so close to God’s heart that the other person must become one with God so that they can find your heart. This is so cool it gives me goose bumps.
In wild at heart and Captivating they talk about this. How some men make the woman the adventure instead of inviting her to be part of a greater adventure. This is where relationships end because the focus is not on the right things. God designed each of us with deep desires in our hearts that need to be fulfilled. In these two books they talk about the core desires in men and woman.
A man wants…..
A battle to fight.
An adventure to live.
A beauty to rescue.
A woman wants….
To e romanced.
To play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure.
To unveil a beauty.
I cannot speak for the woman but I can say for myself that these three things spoke to my heart at a level that I did not know that I had! They awakened my heart and brought me back to life. But I can say that I have learned so much from both of these books. I have learned so much about myself and so much about how I am going to love my wife.
When God created man and woman he said “let us create man in our own image.” Then he made man and saw that it was not good for man to be alone so he created woman (I will talk more about this later). But if you look at man and woman we are made in God’s image but different sides of God’s image. Different sides of God’s character. Man has one side of God’s character and woman another side.
Look at Jesus. He was wild and dangerous, he made a wipe and threw the merchants out the temple and called one of the most powerful groups in Israel a brood of vipers. That is the side of his character he put in man. Then he takes the little children on his knee, he comforts the sick and above all he longs for us to love him, he is literally dying for our love. This is female side of his character. This is not to say in any way the women or men have the better side of God’s character. You cannot compare apples to oranges. We are just different but in our hearts we know that we are missing something deep in our hearts and what we are missing is the other half. We are missing the other half of the character that we make up. That is why we are drawn to the other gender so much. We know that we are missing something and we want to be whole.
I love this picture so think that I am half of God’s image and my wife is the other half and together we represent the image of God. In our love for each other, in the way that we care for each other in the way that we respect each other as half of a hole. A half that if vital to the adventure we are on. A half without which the story would fail, without which it is impossible to succeed.
But the point is that I do not have to look for my wife, I do not have to look for the other half of me. God will show her to me. I have to focus on Jesus night and day and be ready for when God says……
“Hey Joe look over there at her....”
Love for God
Love for my wife
I have to confess that sometimes I think about loving my wife more than I think about God. Is that fully wrong? Because God is love and he made us to love. The only way we can truly love someone the way were meant to is to truly love God. Because in loving her in the truest sense of the word I love God. Because I love everything in her that God made and made beautifully and wonderfully.
This is one of the best analogies I have heard.
“A woman’s heart should be so intertwined with God, that a man must become one with God before he can find her heart.”
This is amazing the idea that you need to so close to God’s heart that the other person must become one with God so that they can find your heart. This is so cool it gives me goose bumps.
In wild at heart and Captivating they talk about this. How some men make the woman the adventure instead of inviting her to be part of a greater adventure. This is where relationships end because the focus is not on the right things. God designed each of us with deep desires in our hearts that need to be fulfilled. In these two books they talk about the core desires in men and woman.
A man wants…..
A battle to fight.
An adventure to live.
A beauty to rescue.
A woman wants….
To e romanced.
To play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure.
To unveil a beauty.
I cannot speak for the woman but I can say for myself that these three things spoke to my heart at a level that I did not know that I had! They awakened my heart and brought me back to life. But I can say that I have learned so much from both of these books. I have learned so much about myself and so much about how I am going to love my wife.
When God created man and woman he said “let us create man in our own image.” Then he made man and saw that it was not good for man to be alone so he created woman (I will talk more about this later). But if you look at man and woman we are made in God’s image but different sides of God’s image. Different sides of God’s character. Man has one side of God’s character and woman another side.
Look at Jesus. He was wild and dangerous, he made a wipe and threw the merchants out the temple and called one of the most powerful groups in Israel a brood of vipers. That is the side of his character he put in man. Then he takes the little children on his knee, he comforts the sick and above all he longs for us to love him, he is literally dying for our love. This is female side of his character. This is not to say in any way the women or men have the better side of God’s character. You cannot compare apples to oranges. We are just different but in our hearts we know that we are missing something deep in our hearts and what we are missing is the other half. We are missing the other half of the character that we make up. That is why we are drawn to the other gender so much. We know that we are missing something and we want to be whole.
I love this picture so think that I am half of God’s image and my wife is the other half and together we represent the image of God. In our love for each other, in the way that we care for each other in the way that we respect each other as half of a hole. A half that if vital to the adventure we are on. A half without which the story would fail, without which it is impossible to succeed.
But the point is that I do not have to look for my wife, I do not have to look for the other half of me. God will show her to me. I have to focus on Jesus night and day and be ready for when God says……
“Hey Joe look over there at her....”
06 September 2010
Heaven’s treasure….real/not-real
We talk about the treasure of heaven all the time. But why do we so often forget that the treasure is there when things get hard. If the treasure is so good we should be willing to go through any…..ANY pain or suffering or trial to get that prize.
How easily we are distracted from something so powerful.
You can hardly look at the sun for its power. It will blind you if you look for more than a second. However it is 93,000,000 miles away and light travels at 3.0x10^8 meters/second (that is 300,000,000 meters per second). It takes the light over a minute to reach us on earth. Yet we can take our thumb and blot out the sun….just like that. Something so powerful and majestic can be obliterated by something as simple and mundane as your own thumb.
This is what we do to God’s glory and to the treasure of heaven. It is so big and amazingly wonderful but we let our eyes be covered so easily by the small things of life.
-an insult from someone we barely know.
-a bad grade on a test.
-a disappointment
-our own attitude.
We let our eyes be covered by such simple things it is amazing to me.
Over the past 10 plus years I have let things in my life cover my eyes blind me to what God was trying to tell me. I let the cover stay on because it was comfortable it was easy. That word easy. I am so sick of that word. Life is not easy and anyone who says it is easy is either blind or is about to be rudely wakened.
But I did not see the damage it was going to my life. How much I was sacrificing to say in my “safe” isolated world. But when I got so close to rock bottom I could see the dust on the floor (a story for another time) I had to see what was on the other side of the cover…
...and I will tell you something.
THERE IS NO COMPARISON! Now that I have seen what is on the other side of the veil I never want to go back.
The freedom, the love, the peace, the passion, the wholeness I felt when my eyes were opened was so amazing. I have been fighting tooth and nail ever since to never let my eyes be covered again.
I have been blind and now I know very well what the darkness looks like and what it feels like.
I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How easily we are distracted from something so powerful.
You can hardly look at the sun for its power. It will blind you if you look for more than a second. However it is 93,000,000 miles away and light travels at 3.0x10^8 meters/second (that is 300,000,000 meters per second). It takes the light over a minute to reach us on earth. Yet we can take our thumb and blot out the sun….just like that. Something so powerful and majestic can be obliterated by something as simple and mundane as your own thumb.
This is what we do to God’s glory and to the treasure of heaven. It is so big and amazingly wonderful but we let our eyes be covered so easily by the small things of life.
-an insult from someone we barely know.
-a bad grade on a test.
-a disappointment
-our own attitude.
We let our eyes be covered by such simple things it is amazing to me.
Over the past 10 plus years I have let things in my life cover my eyes blind me to what God was trying to tell me. I let the cover stay on because it was comfortable it was easy. That word easy. I am so sick of that word. Life is not easy and anyone who says it is easy is either blind or is about to be rudely wakened.
But I did not see the damage it was going to my life. How much I was sacrificing to say in my “safe” isolated world. But when I got so close to rock bottom I could see the dust on the floor (a story for another time) I had to see what was on the other side of the cover…
...and I will tell you something.
THERE IS NO COMPARISON! Now that I have seen what is on the other side of the veil I never want to go back.
The freedom, the love, the peace, the passion, the wholeness I felt when my eyes were opened was so amazing. I have been fighting tooth and nail ever since to never let my eyes be covered again.
I have been blind and now I know very well what the darkness looks like and what it feels like.
I NEVER WANT TO GO BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
05 September 2010
WAR….real or not
As Christians we go about our daily lives, doing this and saying that. But do we think about what is going on out there for REAL. Do we understand the gravity of the situation!!!! I think not.
Do we understand that there are angels and demons circle over our heads fighting for our hearts. This sounds melodramatic, “angels and demons…..huge battles…..beware the coming wrath…..” something like that but that is where we are in the most danger. One of the enemy’s strongest weapons against Christians is indifference. An indifferent Christina is an ineffective Christian. A soldier who will not pick up his sword and fight because he does not believe that he has a sword and that if he had one, there would be no uses in breaking a sweat to use it.
I know that I have never truly thought there was a war. I was told about it, kind of, but I was never TOLD about it. It is so real that now that I know I can feel the attacks ever day. It hurts… it hurts a lot.
We were born into a story a story about a world at war. But do we talk about how we can fight back…not nearly enough I would say.
My best friend and I had a talk last weekend. Well I should say he talked and I cried and talked. It was good. I have come to the realization that I do not trust God enough to let him control my life. I do not trust God enough to give him all my plans and all my dreams and say “here is my future, I trust you will do what is best.” I feel like that is like falling into an abyss only I am letting go.
Here is a secret….
I am scared of the dark! Yes big Joe Lambert is terrified of the dark. I was walking with a friend of mine down this dark road one night and she asked me what was wrong, because I was completely tense and strung out. But I have been looking at this fear and I have discovered some really interesting things about it. I am not afraid of the dark for what the dark it is am scared of what the dark represents. It represents uncertainty, weakness, directionlessness, the unknown, and above all a complete and under lost of control. This is what I am scared of. I am scared out of my mind at the thought of losing control. But that is what I must do. Jesus said any more who gains his life loses it but any more who loses it will gain it. I have to lose my life, I have to let go of my plans, I have to let go of my control so that I can gain the life that I was meant to live.
Why is letting go so hard………why is it so scary…….
Do we understand that there are angels and demons circle over our heads fighting for our hearts. This sounds melodramatic, “angels and demons…..huge battles…..beware the coming wrath…..” something like that but that is where we are in the most danger. One of the enemy’s strongest weapons against Christians is indifference. An indifferent Christina is an ineffective Christian. A soldier who will not pick up his sword and fight because he does not believe that he has a sword and that if he had one, there would be no uses in breaking a sweat to use it.
I know that I have never truly thought there was a war. I was told about it, kind of, but I was never TOLD about it. It is so real that now that I know I can feel the attacks ever day. It hurts… it hurts a lot.
We were born into a story a story about a world at war. But do we talk about how we can fight back…not nearly enough I would say.
My best friend and I had a talk last weekend. Well I should say he talked and I cried and talked. It was good. I have come to the realization that I do not trust God enough to let him control my life. I do not trust God enough to give him all my plans and all my dreams and say “here is my future, I trust you will do what is best.” I feel like that is like falling into an abyss only I am letting go.
Here is a secret….
I am scared of the dark! Yes big Joe Lambert is terrified of the dark. I was walking with a friend of mine down this dark road one night and she asked me what was wrong, because I was completely tense and strung out. But I have been looking at this fear and I have discovered some really interesting things about it. I am not afraid of the dark for what the dark it is am scared of what the dark represents. It represents uncertainty, weakness, directionlessness, the unknown, and above all a complete and under lost of control. This is what I am scared of. I am scared out of my mind at the thought of losing control. But that is what I must do. Jesus said any more who gains his life loses it but any more who loses it will gain it. I have to lose my life, I have to let go of my plans, I have to let go of my control so that I can gain the life that I was meant to live.
Why is letting go so hard………why is it so scary…….
The story
What is it about stories that move us so? We watch movies, we read books, and we listen to songs. There is something in us that makes us cry or laugh or want to go out and do something great. It is the story that these mediums tell us about. It is the story that we want to be a part of.
We were born in to a story that is so big and so amazing. But we have a part to play every one of us. A very important part and a vital part, the question is we going to play it or are we going to sit back and watch it are played.
I for one do not want to be left out of the story any more. I have been outside of my story for long enough and I have seen and read enough to know that if I sit out for too long it will be late for me to get back in. God always gives us a second, third,…..um-teenth change but every time we take ourselves out of the story. The perfect story that God intended for us to live we lose a little bit of what God intended for us to have. God says there is all I have to offer. We say I do not want that part or we are not ready for that part because we are unprepared and we miss out on some of the joy that God intended for us to have.
I have watched so much of my story pase me by and I have made my stand and I say NO MORE!
I WILL WATCH NO MORE OF MY LIFE, MY STORY PASS ME BY….I WANT TO PLAY MY PART!!
We are born into a story, not a peaceful story, not a story without danger we were born into a story with a war a war that has been going on from the beginning of time and we are the center of the war. The war is over us. The war is for our hearts.
In the book, Waking the dead and Epic. Both written by John Eldridge he talks about how are in a world and war and we have a part of play in the story that is being told and has been going on for thousands of years (do not start the age of the earth argument with me).
But I have been thinking about it. If I am part of this story and God is setting the stage for me in this play. He has allowed me; he is allowing us to write the script. This is scary. Would any director put an actor on a stage with a scene and say “ok go.” No way, he would not. But God did, he created the stage and said “go, live life, enjoy life. I created you to have fun in this play. To take your part and make it yours.”
If I was God and I had just made something that had the ability to love the way that humans love I would want them all to love me. At least to be grateful for giving them life and thank me. But he put us here on the earth and said we are free to choice to love him or not.
That is what the story is about. It is about God saying I am here and I love you more than anything. I love you enough to put such amazing detail into the smallest of my creations on this earth. But I want you my people to choose to love me.
The story is a romance, but it is also an action story because there is a bad guy and he does not want us to love God. So he fights us tooth and nail to make sure we do not get to play our role in the play.
The days that I feel the weakest are the days where I know I am making the most impact. The days where I know that I cannot do the right things are the days I know that I have to do them because I am playing my role to the full.
This post is really long but I had to get this out there. I feel like I have been thrown into a war story and I did not know my part to play but now I am learning it. I feel like there is so much out there that we as a cast just to not understand and it is killing us.
I know what story I am a part of and I am fighting every day to play my part with all that I have of strength with all of my soul and with every ounce of passion and love and life that I have in my heart.
What story are you living…………………
We were born in to a story that is so big and so amazing. But we have a part to play every one of us. A very important part and a vital part, the question is we going to play it or are we going to sit back and watch it are played.
I for one do not want to be left out of the story any more. I have been outside of my story for long enough and I have seen and read enough to know that if I sit out for too long it will be late for me to get back in. God always gives us a second, third,…..um-teenth change but every time we take ourselves out of the story. The perfect story that God intended for us to live we lose a little bit of what God intended for us to have. God says there is all I have to offer. We say I do not want that part or we are not ready for that part because we are unprepared and we miss out on some of the joy that God intended for us to have.
I have watched so much of my story pase me by and I have made my stand and I say NO MORE!
I WILL WATCH NO MORE OF MY LIFE, MY STORY PASS ME BY….I WANT TO PLAY MY PART!!
We are born into a story, not a peaceful story, not a story without danger we were born into a story with a war a war that has been going on from the beginning of time and we are the center of the war. The war is over us. The war is for our hearts.
In the book, Waking the dead and Epic. Both written by John Eldridge he talks about how are in a world and war and we have a part of play in the story that is being told and has been going on for thousands of years (do not start the age of the earth argument with me).
But I have been thinking about it. If I am part of this story and God is setting the stage for me in this play. He has allowed me; he is allowing us to write the script. This is scary. Would any director put an actor on a stage with a scene and say “ok go.” No way, he would not. But God did, he created the stage and said “go, live life, enjoy life. I created you to have fun in this play. To take your part and make it yours.”
If I was God and I had just made something that had the ability to love the way that humans love I would want them all to love me. At least to be grateful for giving them life and thank me. But he put us here on the earth and said we are free to choice to love him or not.
That is what the story is about. It is about God saying I am here and I love you more than anything. I love you enough to put such amazing detail into the smallest of my creations on this earth. But I want you my people to choose to love me.
The story is a romance, but it is also an action story because there is a bad guy and he does not want us to love God. So he fights us tooth and nail to make sure we do not get to play our role in the play.
The days that I feel the weakest are the days where I know I am making the most impact. The days where I know that I cannot do the right things are the days I know that I have to do them because I am playing my role to the full.
This post is really long but I had to get this out there. I feel like I have been thrown into a war story and I did not know my part to play but now I am learning it. I feel like there is so much out there that we as a cast just to not understand and it is killing us.
I know what story I am a part of and I am fighting every day to play my part with all that I have of strength with all of my soul and with every ounce of passion and love and life that I have in my heart.
What story are you living…………………
03 September 2010
Summer Search
Every season of life has a name, a purpose, and/or a theme. If I were to name this summer I would call it “Wild at Heart.” This may sound strange for anyone who knows me but that is what this summer was about for me. My intent for the summer was to be WILD, and adventurous to be DANGEROUS. I wanted to experience every facet of life that God was putting in front of me and this is impossible if you are playing it safe.
Now do not get me wrong there is a fine line between safe and SAFE. Like you do not go sky diving without a parachute but you do go sky diving (I did not go sky diving this summer).
But we put so many boundaries on our lives some are good and some are bad because they suffocate who we are, who we were meant to be. So this summer I decided to let it go and to just try new things and to say no to as little as possible.
My summer consisted to three parts:
1. CLDT (Cadet Leaders Development Training) this was an amazing time. Military training is pretty crazy in itself so I did not have to add too much but the way that I acted was I think different. I was more open and more myself. Free to do things and not be afraid of what other thought. It was a great time, shooting, moving and communicating hahaha.
2. AIAD (Academic Individual Advanced Development) to Alaska, I was working with the Corps of Engineers and that was boring but the rest of my time in Alaska was AMAZING!!!!! (That word is actually really weak). When I was up in Alaska I was really able to live wild and dangerous. I meet some amazing people up in Alaska and that was a miracle and a blessing for God that I will never forget. These people were wild in the way they lived. They would be talking one night and then on a whim decide to scale a mountain the next day or canoe a river. While I was up there the wildest thing I did for me at least was Cross Pass. Cross Pass is a mountain pass that is normally an overnight hike, it is 24 miles, I did it in 10 hr 50 min. it was so much fun. Everyone told me I should not go along and that I should take a gun but wanted neither. I wanted to move fast and to be alone. It was probably one of the most beautiful 11 hours of my life. The pass was amazing so green and alive. I did have a couple scares that I thought were bears but I was good.
3. Last I went home and relaxed with the family, we did a family vacation to northern California. The first day we were up there we went to this really isolated beach and there was a rock formation the first part was right there and I could climb it with out to much trouble. The second one was about 20 feet from the shore and had a pretty nasty current flowing around it. Also there was a 30 foot wall between me and where the rock started to level out. I had to wade out to the rock and then climb it. It was amazing. I felt like I was doing what my heart needed. My heart was loving it. (I am in the picture if you look hard)
The purpose of these activities this summer was not to get an adrenalin rush but to feed my heart and let it be what it was meant to be. When God created man he was created outside the garden and brought into it. Man was created in the wild in the outback. We were created in a wild and dangerous place and then put in a safe tame place. This is why men always want to get out doors and do crazy, dirty things. We were designed to do that. (This comes from Wild at Heart; Girls do not feel like I am belittling you in the slightest).
My model for the summer was the Book Wild and Heart (the guy’s version) and now I am reading Captivating (the girl’s version). They are both amazing books and I have learned so much it is not even funny. I will write about them later on.
This summer I went searching for the most elusive treasure. I went hunting for the most dangerous prey. This summer I went on a quest in search of my heart. I am not sure if I have found it yet but what I do not is that the search is sweet and I am not looking alone. Jesus is searching with me and teaching me how to look.
Now do not get me wrong there is a fine line between safe and SAFE. Like you do not go sky diving without a parachute but you do go sky diving (I did not go sky diving this summer).
But we put so many boundaries on our lives some are good and some are bad because they suffocate who we are, who we were meant to be. So this summer I decided to let it go and to just try new things and to say no to as little as possible.
My summer consisted to three parts:
1. CLDT (Cadet Leaders Development Training) this was an amazing time. Military training is pretty crazy in itself so I did not have to add too much but the way that I acted was I think different. I was more open and more myself. Free to do things and not be afraid of what other thought. It was a great time, shooting, moving and communicating hahaha.
2. AIAD (Academic Individual Advanced Development) to Alaska, I was working with the Corps of Engineers and that was boring but the rest of my time in Alaska was AMAZING!!!!! (That word is actually really weak). When I was up in Alaska I was really able to live wild and dangerous. I meet some amazing people up in Alaska and that was a miracle and a blessing for God that I will never forget. These people were wild in the way they lived. They would be talking one night and then on a whim decide to scale a mountain the next day or canoe a river. While I was up there the wildest thing I did for me at least was Cross Pass. Cross Pass is a mountain pass that is normally an overnight hike, it is 24 miles, I did it in 10 hr 50 min. it was so much fun. Everyone told me I should not go along and that I should take a gun but wanted neither. I wanted to move fast and to be alone. It was probably one of the most beautiful 11 hours of my life. The pass was amazing so green and alive. I did have a couple scares that I thought were bears but I was good.
3. Last I went home and relaxed with the family, we did a family vacation to northern California. The first day we were up there we went to this really isolated beach and there was a rock formation the first part was right there and I could climb it with out to much trouble. The second one was about 20 feet from the shore and had a pretty nasty current flowing around it. Also there was a 30 foot wall between me and where the rock started to level out. I had to wade out to the rock and then climb it. It was amazing. I felt like I was doing what my heart needed. My heart was loving it. (I am in the picture if you look hard)
The purpose of these activities this summer was not to get an adrenalin rush but to feed my heart and let it be what it was meant to be. When God created man he was created outside the garden and brought into it. Man was created in the wild in the outback. We were created in a wild and dangerous place and then put in a safe tame place. This is why men always want to get out doors and do crazy, dirty things. We were designed to do that. (This comes from Wild at Heart; Girls do not feel like I am belittling you in the slightest).
My model for the summer was the Book Wild and Heart (the guy’s version) and now I am reading Captivating (the girl’s version). They are both amazing books and I have learned so much it is not even funny. I will write about them later on.
This summer I went searching for the most elusive treasure. I went hunting for the most dangerous prey. This summer I went on a quest in search of my heart. I am not sure if I have found it yet but what I do not is that the search is sweet and I am not looking alone. Jesus is searching with me and teaching me how to look.
02 September 2010
The Story.....The Hunt!!!!!!
“I wonder what type of story we have fallen into?”
Sam says this in Lord of the Rings, he has asked an amazing question. But first he is assuming that he is in a story he is part of a great adventure. This is so important.
Some of my previous blogs are a little dark and written by a person who was really discouraged. But I am seeing that I am part of a great story and I am trying to kill that person. The battle is raging and I am fighting for my heart, for my soul, for the real nature of who I really am. But I am not alone in this battle, I have Jesus at my right hand directing the battle for me and swing and cutting along with me. He is showing me how to fight and where to strike.
I am uncovering a passion and a heart that I did not know that had. I love to read which I have always hated; I am starting to love to spend time with God which I have always seen as something I must do but not as necessary. If you LOVE someone you will do anything to spend time with them. And I am climbing in love with Jesus as fast as I can.
(I never liked the analogy of falling in love. Because it sounded like we did nothing to love that person, but I did not fall in love with Jesus I am “climbing” in love with him. Every day I am reading I am studying and growing in my love, growing closer to him every day in every way. It is absolutely amazing.
The books that I am devouring right now are all of CS. Lewis and John Eldgredge’s books. These men have done so much for me that I almost literally owe my life to the work that Christ has done through them. Until I read their books I had not really understood what I as missing and where I was going wrong.
But now I know that for the past 13 plus years I have been sitting on my heart. I have been safe. I have been without real passion (which is strange for those who know me because they would say I am the most passionate person they know). But I am finding my heart after many heart years of it being lost. This past summer I went in search of my heart and it was a journey I will not soon forget. My life is forever changed because of it.
I do not know much but what I do know is this. Man was created to be wild, dangerous, untamed, unfettered, unrestrained, and alive. Man is all these things because that is the nature of God that we were created to resemble. When God, “let us create man in our own image.” He really did make us in his own image.
I want to be known as, Joe the crazy man who was wild and dangerous a man who could stand for what he believed and was not afraid to stand for what was right.
I want to be the man I was meant to be. The only way I am going to be able to do that is if I fine my heart. It has been missing for a long time and I have found part of it but many areas are still in hiding and need to be hunted. The journey is not safe, it is dangerous and I do not know what I will find but I am going to start it anyways. Like Lewis and Clark started across America, if they had been too afraid to go and step out into the unknown who know what might have happened.
As I take this journey I am going to be real with you. Why I am not yet sure but I am going to be as real as I can. In the hope that my journey will help you in the search for your own heart.
…..farewell, good luck, good hunting……and…….BE DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sam says this in Lord of the Rings, he has asked an amazing question. But first he is assuming that he is in a story he is part of a great adventure. This is so important.
Some of my previous blogs are a little dark and written by a person who was really discouraged. But I am seeing that I am part of a great story and I am trying to kill that person. The battle is raging and I am fighting for my heart, for my soul, for the real nature of who I really am. But I am not alone in this battle, I have Jesus at my right hand directing the battle for me and swing and cutting along with me. He is showing me how to fight and where to strike.
I am uncovering a passion and a heart that I did not know that had. I love to read which I have always hated; I am starting to love to spend time with God which I have always seen as something I must do but not as necessary. If you LOVE someone you will do anything to spend time with them. And I am climbing in love with Jesus as fast as I can.
(I never liked the analogy of falling in love. Because it sounded like we did nothing to love that person, but I did not fall in love with Jesus I am “climbing” in love with him. Every day I am reading I am studying and growing in my love, growing closer to him every day in every way. It is absolutely amazing.
The books that I am devouring right now are all of CS. Lewis and John Eldgredge’s books. These men have done so much for me that I almost literally owe my life to the work that Christ has done through them. Until I read their books I had not really understood what I as missing and where I was going wrong.
But now I know that for the past 13 plus years I have been sitting on my heart. I have been safe. I have been without real passion (which is strange for those who know me because they would say I am the most passionate person they know). But I am finding my heart after many heart years of it being lost. This past summer I went in search of my heart and it was a journey I will not soon forget. My life is forever changed because of it.
I do not know much but what I do know is this. Man was created to be wild, dangerous, untamed, unfettered, unrestrained, and alive. Man is all these things because that is the nature of God that we were created to resemble. When God, “let us create man in our own image.” He really did make us in his own image.
I want to be known as, Joe the crazy man who was wild and dangerous a man who could stand for what he believed and was not afraid to stand for what was right.
I want to be the man I was meant to be. The only way I am going to be able to do that is if I fine my heart. It has been missing for a long time and I have found part of it but many areas are still in hiding and need to be hunted. The journey is not safe, it is dangerous and I do not know what I will find but I am going to start it anyways. Like Lewis and Clark started across America, if they had been too afraid to go and step out into the unknown who know what might have happened.
As I take this journey I am going to be real with you. Why I am not yet sure but I am going to be as real as I can. In the hope that my journey will help you in the search for your own heart.
…..farewell, good luck, good hunting……and…….BE DANGEROUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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