Priorities....where are they

"people who have passion but lack priorities are like individuals who find themselves in a lonely log cabin deep in the woods on a cold snowy night and then light a bunch of small candles and place them all around the room. They don’t create enough light to help them see, nor do they produce enough heat to keep them warm. At best, they merely make the room see a bit more cheerful. On the other hand. People who possess priorities but no passion re like those who stack wood in the fireplace of that same cold cabin but never light the fire. But people who have passion with prorates are like those who stack the wood, light the fire, and enjoy the light and heat that it produces.”
"Go for Gold" by John C. Maxwell.

This book is amazing. Everyday there is something new for me to learn. It is broken up into week long chapters; the idea is that it takes a long time to become a good leader so the book takes a long time to read so that you have time to work on what I am trying to tell you.

I really like this one because sometimes I forget what the most important things are. If I go a day without spending that time alone with God like today I was running around and did not sit down with him (it is now 3 min until it is tomorrow). But I can say that today I lived by my priorities. I put God first today even though I did not meet specifically with him I did every job today to the best of my ability which is my first priority. To serve him is the main thing. While I was living today I stopped to talk to Him throughout the day but it was like we were talking and working at the same time because I did at no time stop and say now is my time to pray (if you are running a rifle range it is hard to stop what you are doing). But I think the main point for me is realizing that everything I do is focused at Jesus. Focused at loving him more and serving him to the best of my ability.

Topic jump.
I have been reading my friends Blog and they said they are feeling like their relationship with God is lacking something. Like they were singing last night and it did not feel real like you were not worthy to be singing the words of the song. Last semester I was at a similar place.
I was at a point where I was so tire of being a Christian I could not pray, I could not read by Bible, I could barely sing (which is big for me). There was a lot of stuff going on in my life that was separating me from Jesus during that time (for another, later post). For a span of about 3 weeks I took a break from being a Christian. I was just to tire and discourage I could not do it. It was not real, my relationship with God, my heart was cold, and my spirit was dry.

I distinctly remember one phone call with my mom, I was about to go to bed and she asked me if I wanted to pray before I went to bed and then she would pray…..I literally sat there for 2 minutes in silence. I could not do it. You know when you pray and you do not feel it. I could not feel it and I did not want to feel it, I had shut myself up so tight, I could not even pray. She just prayed and I went to bed.

Over Christmas break ’09. I got real with God and I started again. I decided since I had taken a break from being a Christian, I was a new Christian so I started again. Even since that day I have been thirsty for Jesus. I have been learning how to love him and others more. I have been learning how to walk with him and love him like I should. Like anyone who is new to something I still have a lot to learn but I am so excited to learn.

For anyone who actually reads this. I want to say if you feel like your relationship with God right now is not real and you do not feel connected to him. I was right there…it will end…like now I cannot even tell you how on fire for God I feel now. I got real with God…. and did not fall in love with God…….I AM GROWING IN LOVE WITH GOD (to fall is an accident; to grow/climb is a choice). Love is a choice and we have to make it every day. I now choice to love God more than any and everything else in my life, I still have a lot of bumps to workout but I cannot wait to iron them out with Jesus.

Well if you got his far you must have either 1) found something interesting which is unlikely or 2) you have to much spare time on your hands (for my friends also unlikely) or 3) you are a more devoted friend that I deserve.

Get out there and live life to the full because Jesus made us to live and love for his glory. So join me living life.

“There is no disgrace in a failure only in a failure to try.” -Teddy Roosevelt

Later

The Pull

Some times I want to give up and throw in the towel completely. I want to stop fighting, I mean I fight so hard to do the right thing and I rarely ever see the benefit. I try and do the right things, I try and watch the right things, I try and say the right things and sometimes I just get tired of it and wonder why.....then I feel "the pull"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

This skit makes me cry. I just watched it and I cried again. When I see Jesus pulling her to him I feel like I can feel Jesus pulling me too. Like all the things in my life are standing in the way and trying to distract me. Lust, money, alcohol, vanity and disregard for life. but then I remember that dance, I remember when Jesus and I used to dance and I want to go back to that and dance with him but I am caught up in the fight to get back to him because of all the things that I have let get between us. I cannot move them he has to step in and free me.

we did this skit for the plebe retreat that I ran at the beginning of last semester and I played Jesus and I can tell you when I was pulling her across the stage to me I felt...like I was really pulling someone I felt like I was in the thing. When I ran in and held back everyone, it was so strange.

Just think about that. Remember why we do what we do. I do, I do what I do because Jesus loves me and I love him and I love do dance with him more than I love to dance with the distractions in my life.

FOCUS ON THE BIG PICTURE

So it is mad late and I am tired but I had to write this. I think this is so important. I was reading this book earlier today "Go for Gold" by John C. Maxwell.

It talks about in the 1968 Olympics how the crowds were watching a marathon and they where waiting for the last runner to come across the finish line. they waited a long time. Eventually as people started to give up and leave they heard sirens in the distance from an ambulance. And a short time after the last runner entered the track to run his last 400 meters.


"It was John Stephen Akhwari from Tanzania. As he ran the 400-meter circuit, people could see that his leg was bandaged and bleeding. He had fallen and injured it during the race, but he hadn’t let it stop him. The people in the stadium rose and applauded until he reached the finish line.

As he hobbled away, he was asked why he had not quit, injured as he was and having no change of winning a medal. “My Country did not send me to Mexico City to start the race,” he answered. “They sent me to finish the race.”

Akhwari looked beyond the pain of the moment and kept his eye on the big picture of why he was there. As you make the success journey, keep in mind that your goal is to finish the race – to do the best you’re capable of doing.”


I think this is so important, we are not called to win or to lose, and we as Christians are called to run the race that God has given to us. To do our best and to bring glory to Jesus. We are not out to be the best or to make a name for ourselves we are out there because Jesus asked us to and we love him that much. The pain we are going through is part of the race we volunteered to run and we should look through it and see the importance of the race we are running. Time for bed…later ;)

strength (love that hurts)

it is at times like this that i relaize what we were saying all those time when we say "i am not strong enough" "my own power is so small"

i feel not see the profe. but that is the beauty of it all. i feel the pain and remeber that i am not alone. most people never get to feel that sence of weakness to this extent (well i hope they don't).

God teaches me so much through pain some times i want to yell at him and say,
"DON'T LOVE ME SO MUCH...IT HURTS A LOT."

Being at peace

Sometimes you do not get to do what you want to do or get as much done as you would like. I am learning to live with this feeling at be at peace with it. Like yesterday I got to hang out with a friend of mine. I went out to lunch with him and his girlfriend and his mom. Which took longer than I wanted but it was good because I got to talk to him about some cool stuff. Last night I had meeting until late but I got to visit another friend and it was good talking to her.

fun things and God is showing me that some times....well most of the time what I need to get done in a day is not always what God wants me to get done in a day.

I think the main thing I have learned as long as I am walking with God I have to be at peace with how he wants me to spend my time.

Back to the grind

So here I am again back at my desk at west point. Back from Spring Break ready to start school again. Many people around me are groaning in agony to be back but I am ready I am excited. To be back here to see what the next couple weeks have in store for me.

God has been showing me a lot of really cool stuff lately and I want to see how it pans out in the days to follow. Excitement about the future is one of the only ways to stay on course. Look at this verse.


Philippians 3: 12-14 (New International Version)

12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

I think this is so awesome. Just think about that. Straining towards what is ahead. When I think to strain for something I think of a warrior fighting with all that is in him for some cause. To save the women he loves, he is straining with all that is in him. Nothing can stand in his way.

God is calling us towards the goal to win the prize. Keeping our eyes focused on the prize and letting nothing distract me from that path.

Spring Break

So after living though last week. Which was not fun. Balancing school all that was due and my job as Sandhurst Command Sergeant Major (I was looking at it the other day and I am in charge of 90+ people and $200,000 worth of equipment...kind of scary). But I lived thought it and I learned a lot from it.

1. Sleep is amazing, without it I have to watch how I interact with people very carefully because I get on edge when I have little or no sleep.
2. Time management is something that is very important because things that are important get lost and thing that are not important seem to always move to the front.
3. Physically I am capable of much more than I thought I was. When I was tired and going on no sleep one night I was able to max a physical test (a 1500 yard swim) and later the weights portion of the test.
4. During a week where my strength ran out about 36 hours in God gave me more strength than I deserved.
5. When you are tired and so lost that you have no idea where to go and what to do God always steps in when you need him the most. Not so much when you want him to step in but when you need him. He is never late and never early but always right when you need it the most.

So even after a week that was very painful I can say that I learned a lot. That is the point to life, learning from the hard times. If we do not look at the hard time and battles and embrace them and learn from them we are losing so many lessons we are meant to learn. Most of the important lessons I learn at the most painful points in my life. Well I do at least.

But I have to say this week (Spring break) has been amazing so far. I have had time to think about some amazing ideas about my leadership, academics and physical. There are so many things I want to accomplish in so many areas. I am just starting to see the potential and the plans that God has given me and I cannot wait to see where it will take me. WOW what a journey. I cannot wait to get started.

PR time awake 44.5 hours

this is not a record i am proud of.

25 hour awake....blessings....pain

so last night i never went horizontal.

so i have been awake for 25 hours and counting. it is going to hurt really bad today. but i was given a blessing this morning already. i had to swim for a PE class. i had to swim a 1500 yrd and a 100 yrd for time. i got 19:42 min on the 1500 (max points 23 min) and 64 sec on the 100 yrd (max points 68 sec).

so without even asking God has already started to give me blessings.

will keep you posted on how the rest of my time goes.

strength from i know not where

Well this day started at 0545 and it is now 0300 of the next day (21 days)....it is not over yet.

I do not know where the strength is going to come from to live today but I know it will be there when I need it. That is what is wonderful about Jesus he know exactly when we need something and he does not give it to us until that moment. He is never late.

I have been trying to pray all the time, throughout the day. Just whenever I think about it. Today I was driving to pick up some supplies and I was alone and I started talking to God out loud in the tuck like he was sitting next to me. I was not angry I would say but I was separate. I needed some guidance and help. I got some of it I think but I think he still wants me to look hard for the answers.

But back to the praying constantly I have been praying more since the OCF (officer Christian fellowship). Every day it is not because of anything the speaker said it is because some things came up at the retreat that whenever it comes into my mind I just pray for it, NF. I can say that I feel closer to Jesus because of it. Talking to him is something that I want to be all the time not just at specific time or in certain settings.

Well that is all... I need to get back to work I have to go swimming in 2.5 hours. I have to swim 1500 meter in under 23 mins for a class so we will see how that goes.

day after day

Sometime I really have to take a step back and remember that God is in control because I can get lost with everything going on. Like yesterday I was at a range for 6+ hours with tons of home work to do. Problem set due tomorrow (I do not understand) Military Art paper I have not really started due in two days. All that gets so big I forget I have a friend who is some much bigger than me.

But I was reading my friends blog this morning a post from 2 Jan 10. And she talked about walking and talking with God like the people in the Bible, also she noted the verse where it says that God is the same today, tomorrow and forever. If God is the same now and always why do I not talk to him? He is waiting to talk with me but I get so lost in the day to day stuff.

I get so overwhelmed some times with everything I have to do. But I guess it is a good thing to feel helpless because it means I have to pray and walk with God all the closer because I cannot do this by myself. You string a couple 19+ hour work days together and you start to realize just how weak you are and how little you are in control.

So the I guess the lesson to learn from this is that I have a friend walking by my side that I have not been talking to who want to help me. So I want to talk with him more.

Let's try this again

So I lost focus and did not blog for a while. I only wish I could tell you how much as happened since my last post. I have been challenged and tested on every front in some areas I have been victorious in others not so much. But the areas where I am losing are growing smaller and fewer.

Right now I feel such freedom and peace. God is starting to show me some of the plans he has for me, the things in front of my eyes for all those years have been lifted and I can see again and I can tell you I never want to be blind again.

Well here starts hopefully a lot string of posts that I will put up here much shorter than my previous ones.

Yours always,
Joey