50th post......motivation

This is my 50th post this is so cool. Now I feel like I am moving forward in the blogging community.

People here at West Point see me as "BIG JOE" with no end of energy and motivation. Who is always excited and motivated. And that Sucks!!! Because it is hard to live life under that kind of pressure. I have stopped trying to pretend to be and have motivation that I do not have. I have gotten a lot better when I am hurting I let people know and I do not hid it as much anymore. But it is still really hard.

For instance yesterday at the football game. My job is "Mic Man" I am down on the field and my job is just me running around trying to motivate and pump up 4000 people who do not want to be there. It is hard especially when we are losing the day is hot and people have lost heart. I am not really a football guy and I do not do it because I like the sport. But I do it because I like to motivate and inspire people to do their best and to never quite so I put my all out there. I push myself to the limit; pull all the stops, empty the reserves and quite literally waist myself. When I finish a game all I want to do is go back to my room and curl up in a little ball and cry. That really is it. I am incapable of doing anything else.

I am still not quite sure why I do it? I do not really like the job and it really sucks and hurts a lot but why do I do it week after week? Again I am not sure.

Maybe it is because it has to do with my attitude. I think that attitude is the most important thing. Because my attitude is the only thing that I and I alone control. I cannot decide to be happy today I cannot decided to be energetic today but I can decide to have a good attitude today and that I what I try and do every day.