Side Note:
My friends are so encouraging. I love them. It is so nice to see all of them again. One of my friends especially encourages me more than any of my other friends they do not know how much they mean to me but their words mean a lot to me. The realness and openness touches my heart and really help me to push on.
Since I have been home I have been going a lot of soul searching and looking at my past and my future. I have found out that even though I have not really noticed it or intended to be I am a very performance driven person. I have always tried to be a person who just does my best and that is all it is not about the results or the outcome. But I am a performance driven person and as a result of this trait I have carried a burden that I do not need to carry. A burden that has weighted me down, causing me to not live the life that God intended me to live. This is deep, but what I have been thinking about over the past couple of days.
It is surprising how draining it is to step back and look at one’s life from a distance. When you step back and look at our life it can be a scary thing because all of the stuff that you thought you know about who you are can be proven wrong by one real look. I have had the opportunity to look at lot of who I am through unclouded eyes and frankly I am not really all that happy with what I have seen.
All this really means is that I have a lot of repair work to do. A lot of unresolved....things to figure out in my life to allow me to live the life that I have always wanted.
Well that is all I have for tonight,
All ways your
Joey
That has been the road I've been on for most of this year and you know the best thing? God has healing for us in that. And he has the tools we need to live more effectively for him once we let him ruin the lies we have bought into for years.
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